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Halloween Costume

Sam is very self-conscious about his bald head and his wooden leg, so 
when he receives an invitation to a Halloween Ball, he wants to wear 
a costume that will hide or minimize both. He dashes off a note to 
Brooks Brothers, explaining his need and his concerns, and in a few 
days receives a package with the following note.

"Dear Sir: Enclosed is a pirate costume. The red handkerchief will 
cover your bald head, and your wooden leg will look like part of the 
costume."

Sam is furious with their 'solution', and returns the parcel, saying 
he is trying to HIDE his peg leg...not call attention to it.

The next week, he receives a second package and a note:

"Dear Sir: We apologize if we appeared insensitive to your concern. 
Enclosed is a monk's habit. The long robe will hide your leg, and your 
bald head will look to be part of your costume."

Enraged, Sam returns the costume with a nasty note, saying they are 
idiots for calling attention to his bald head.

The following day, he receives a small parcel by courier with a note 
which reads:

"Dear Sir: Enclosed is a jar of caramel. Pour it over your bald head, 
stick your peg leg up your ass, and go as a candy apple."